Becoming and Being

Sometimes I'll see someone and I'll be inspired by them.

There was a lady on the beach with her three little kids that looked like she had it all together. She was slender and looked so nice in her Lilly Pulitzer swimsuit. She sat around and drank green tea from Starbucks. She was from Dallas and she was very nice. I remember thinking, "I should drink green tea too." The bad thing is that if given the choice between green tea and coffee from Starbucks, I very much doubt that I could force myself to get the tea. It's not that I don't like green tea, because I do. I just don't like it more than coffee.

I remember another time when someone was telling me about how they loved taking baths and pampering themselves in that way. I decided I would be a bath girl and even asked for bath stuff for my birthday. I maybe took one. For me, the idea of sitting in my own dirt is too gross to be able to get past in my mind and be able to sit and relax.

Another good example of being inspired by someone else is when I went to visit a new friend. Her house is gorgeous and she is crazy about organization and cleaning. Her house was unbelievable. When we went outside with the kids, even the swing set looked amazing. She then told me that she re-stains it every spring. Guess what I went home and did that weekend. I stained our swing set and pressure washed our deck and stained it too. Sometimes a little inspiration is all we need.

It is actually pretty rare for me to be inspired by someone and actually follow through (note the green tea and baths). Maybe it's because we mostly just are who we are. Or is it that who we think we are, we are?

I love to paint my nails extremely dark colors. The bad thing is that when I do, I feel like a fake. I guess I feel I am not "rock and roll" enough to pull that off. My husband doesn't like it either. There are times when I will love a certain look, but no way would I ever wear it because it is not "me". What does that even mean? If I like it, why can't it be me? It is funny to me that I struggle with that. I think it is because all of us are in a constant state of being and becoming. We are who we are; but we can change. I read on another blog (http://conorbootheandgirls.blogspot.com/) that we are like a maple tree; it is always a maple tree, but it is in a constant state of change. Every season brings something new. Every year, while it is still a maple tree, it is changed by weather and environment and will never be the same as even the year before. That is alot like people. We have great ability to change; but we in ways remain the same. We are changed by people who enter our lives and people who exit them. We are changed by circumstances and changes in our surroundings. We can be inspired to change or forced to. We are always being and becoming.

Bearing Burdens

Empathy, as defined in Webster's, is the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts or experience of another without having the feelings, thoughts, or experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner. Most people can sympathize (to share suffering or grief) with others fairly easily. It is something else to empathize. Last week was one of those weeks where I found myself waking in the middle of the night completely unable to get back to sleep because I felt in my soul like something was terribly wrong with someone else. I didn't know who; so I prayed for baby Stellan and his parents. The next day I found out that a man I know, who has two young children and a precious wife, had been killed about the time I woke up in the night. I had found out hours before at church that a young father who used to be a member of our church had died suddenly, leaving twins, another daughter and a wife to live life without him. An older woman in my church (whom I love dearly) lost her husband of 60 years to cancer earlier in the week. I found myself on Sunday morning with my heart feeling like it would break in the pew for the others whose hearts were heavy with grief. I always say that I am not good at emotional stuff. People who are hurting are too much for me. I never know what to say and I feel the urge to physically run away. I always say it's because I lack mercy. The truth is the pain of others feels like it will engulf me too. I feel it in my soul. There are moments that we are called to circle one another and help carry the burdens that are too much for one to carry alone. As I watched these people grieve, I thought how hopeless and terrible it would be if we were to carry it all alone. I am thankful today that we can go to Jesus with pain and suffering and He will not only comfort and carry us through; but He will bring others to us to help as well. Today I am a little less afraid of other people's pain and glad that I can carry even a minuscule amount so it is not so heavy for them. There is a visual that MckMama has on her site. I want you to go and look at it. There are people all over the world (literally) praying for Stellan. Each person carrying just a little for a precious baby boy and his sweet family. This is what "the church" is supposed to be. It brings tears to my eyes and I have to believe that God is so proud of His children..

Share each
other’s troubles and problems, and in this way obey the law of
Christ. 3 If you
think you are too important to help someone in need, you
are only fooling
yourself. You are really a nobody. (Galatians 6:1-3 New
Living Translation)

Now head on over there. Please notice Stellan has made it to the White House, Disney, Graceland, Senegal, the Ivory Coast and many many other places.
http://www.mycharmingkids.net/2008/08/eventually-these-photographs-will-be-in.html

Procrastination

I like to think that I don't really procrastinate as much as I have my priorities out of order. For example, I will be folding laundry, when all of a sudden I remember I needed to check out something on the computer. It can be school related, menu/food related, or completely random. I also feel a little like I wander around not quite knowing where to begin. I just have a lot on my mind. My best example of procrastination happened in college. My roommate and I were studying intently for our mid-terms when all of a sudden we decided we needed something. Of course that something was odd for two college age girls to want, but we did. We not only decided that we needed it, but that we had to have it. What was it? Fried Okra, of course! I am sure that was exactly what you were thinking. Neither one of us had a car and you would think that finding someone to bum a ride from during mid-terms for an all out manhunt for okra might be difficult. You'd be wrong! We drove all around town looking for someplace with some okra, but because most fast food places don't have it and it's not all that common even in sit-down restaurants, we had to find a cafeteria style restaurant. After a long drive, much further out of town than we expected, we found the desired okra. It was delicious and I am just positive I wouldn't have done half as well on my mid-terms if I hadn't had it! See, maybe procrastination isn't all that bad--the okra hunt was actually a really fun adventure. I guess I should quit procrastinating and get to more cleaning and organizing (no homeschool today--half my girls have strep); or maybe I'm in the mood for okra.

What a mess!

My house is a disaster. Storage is empty; but my house is overflowing. The great news is that I won't have to buy my little two any clothes for summer. Most of the clothes I had in storage were spring and summer clothes. We emptied them out, washed them, and I have been going through the pile (which actually could touch the ceiling in the laundry room) for days! The school stuff I brought home is a whole other source of mess, which I cannot even think about right now. I feel badly for my sweet husband who comes home to this disaster everyday. It won't be like this forever; but I am not sure he actually believes that. Changing out their clothes from one season to another is always a hassle. It, however, is a huge money saver! In a couple of weeks we will be having a yard sale to sell some of the stuff, until then it will probably be pretty bad. Hopefully, we won't have any visitors between now and then. Once all this is cleaned up and put away, I have plans for some windows that really need some mistreatment (if this makes no sense to you check out http://www.nestingplacenc.blogspot.com/ ).I can hardly wait until I can start some super thrifty and frugal home projects. I am trying hard to convince my dear, sweet, wonderful husband to let me paint our cabinets like Emily from http://www.chattingatthesky.com. We'll see.

The "R" Word

There are lots of words that our children are not allowed to say. Usually these words are the kind that are rude or potty talk. There are other words, many of which my children have never heard leave my mouth, that they are also not allowed to say. My children have never heard racist words come from anyone in our family. If I ever heard such words come out of their mouths there would be big punishment which would involve hot sauce. We have raised our children to see everyone as a child of God, one just like them for whom Jesus died. They don't believe they are better than anyone else based on the color of someone's skin. I am so glad that they are raised in such a time as this as far as that goes. However, there are words out there that people casually use that are hurtful and offensive. I am not one of those people that wants everybody to be happy and nobody to ever get their feelings hurt. I am not so open-minded that my brain may fall out. I will tell you like it is, but I will not use offensive words to do it. It may hurt, but the truth sometimes does. There are people who are intellectually challenged. They were either born that way or something happened in their lives that diminished some of their mental abilities. Either way, these people did not choose it. Like a person does not choose his or her race. I know many people who have Down syndrome. My life is better because they are in it. I see and interact with many children at my daughter's therapy place who have some degree of mental disability. The thought of someone hurting their feelings breaks my heart. The Special Olympics has started a challenge to stop the use of the word "retard" or the "r" word. There is no room in this world for hurting those with disabilities. Princess H is not what her doctors or therapists would call "retarded", but I have no doubt that some day in the near future, she will be called that by a cruel child. She is a tad slower sometimes than other children. She works so hard in all that she does. For someone to belittle her based on the fact that she was born with something that she has no control over, yet she works so hard to overcome, makes me angry. I hear kids calling each other that as an insult. We parents need to be the ones to let them know this is absolutely unacceptable.

I have included a section from the Special Olympics page about this challenge. They put it far better than I can.

"Most people don’t think of this word as hate speech, but that’s exactly what it feels like to millions of people with intellectual disabilities, their families and friends. This word is just as cruel and offensive as any other slur.
Spread the Word to End the Word will raise the consciousness of society about the dehumanizing and hurtful effects of the R-word and encourage people to pledge to stop using it. America will be asked to declare their support for more respectful and inclusive language, specifically that referring to those with intellectual disabilities.
Created by young people with and without intellectual disabilities, Spread the Word to End the Word is one element of Special Olympics’ vision of a world where everyone matters, where everyone is accepted and, most importantly, where everyone is valued. Leading the way in promoting acceptance of people with intellectual disabilities, Special Olympics opposes prejudice and discrimination, continuously working to dispel the negative stereotypes associated with this population — the use of the R-word being one such stereotype."

Maybe, by the time our children are grown up, their children won't know what the "r" word is. Will you join the challenge?

First Day of Spring

Happy Spring everyone! Today wasn't all that warm here; but at least it was sunny! My allergies definitely know that it is spring. Actually, they are quite sure she arrived two weeks ago when all the Bradford pears bloomed.

I am deep in the midst of my bringing home the stuff from the storage unit. I think our house got a lot smaller while this stuff was gone. I have no idea where to put most of it. That last statement makes me chuckle a little. The reason is that last year when I packed up all this stuff, I gave away several truck loads of stuff we didn't want to keep. My husband said several times that he didn't think we would have anything left to put into storage. That is hilarious to me! He obviously had no idea how stuff we had/have (way too much). Anyway, I feel a tad overwhelmed by the mess, but am hopeful that in a few weeks things will be so much better. I want to spring clean as I organize. I ordered an e-book from SimpleMom.net. She has a great blog about living more simply, which I fully appreciate at this very moment.

Of course, my compost is ripe and ready for our garden. I have to convince my charmingly wonderful husband to till. I can't wait for fresh veggies from our garden. When I was little, we always had a garden. I would pick off the green beans and stand in the garden and eat them raw. Raw green beans are my favorite! Spring always seems so cheerful and hopeful. What are your spring plans?

Homeschool Stuff

Before last year, our bonus room had the dual purpose of school room and play room. Then we thought we were moving and put the desks, bulletin boards, and white boards into storage. For this past school year we have done school in our kitchen. I don't want to move it back to the bonus room because of the carpet. Crayons, markers, play-doh and paint are too much to try to keep off the floor. I dislike it in the kitchen for a number of reasons. My girls get food on their work. We don't have any bulletin boards up. Another thing is that my kitchen stays cluttered, which I cannot stand! So, with the great organizational makeover of 2009 I am looking for a new home of our home school. I am taking over my husband's office. He has a laptop now and doesn't need a whole room. The girls and I use the computer in there anyway. I have started to bring some of our school stuff home from storage. My girls acted like it was Christmas morning when they got the books out of the boxes. I don't know how to arrange it yet. I am not sure I want desks or one big table. I am also contemplating getting rid of the big office desk unit and getting or building a small desk for me. It is all in the planning stages. If anyone out there on the internet has a great idea for this room or knows somewhere I can look at someone else's, I would be so grateful. Princess H will be coming home to start kindergarten in the fall. She has enjoyed the school setting since she was three. I want to mimic that in the good ways. I think the other girls would appreciate that as well. My oldest has her SAT in April. It is for elementary students, but is still a big deal for her. This test will show me what I need to work on over the summer and the beginning of fall or where she is strong and can move ahead. One year, she did fabulous on the whole test except for the science section about the solar system. It was all my fault because that is the most boring subject to me and we read a chapter on it and that was that. We had to go back over it during the summer. This year, due to how huge the unit is in her science book, I imagine that section will be big on this test too. We are just really starting it--yuck! I love pretty much everything else that I get to teach them. It is not always easy or exciting, but most times it is extremely rewarding. I hope you guys have a great day. Tomorrow is the first day of spring!! I am so happy about that!

Getting Ready for Summer

It is still not warm here; but having just got back from Florida, I now remember what it is like to be hot. My husband and I went to Disney World for a long weekend, without the children. I know that sounds strange. It is a great place for everybody. You don't have to take the kids! We rode some rides we had always skipped before and went into shops that we had avoided because of little hands and too much breakable stuff. We had a GREAT time. Now, I am home and ready to get ready for summer. Besides the great organization makeover of 2009 that I have planned, I also am wanting to get in shape. Let me preface this to say that this is not an easy thing for me. I am a known yo-yo dieter. The reason this is true is because in order for me to lose weight I have to eat very very little and work my heiney off! This is not an excuse or joke. It is a fact, a sad sad truth that I must live with (poor pitiful me). I have hypothyroidism. My metabolism is basically that of a slug. If I eat more than 1200 calories a day, it is impossible for me to lose weight. So the reason I yo-yo is that I can do this for awhile, but then a holiday or a vacation occurs and where everyone else may gain a pound or two, I will gain 10 or more. Lovely, isn't it? I work out 5 or 6 days a week regardless of whether I am eating the way I should or not. But, I am going to try to eat the way I know I have to. My endocrinologist said, "If you want to be thin you will have to eat very little and exercise a lot." I know getting in shape for summer is basically the goal for every woman everywhere. So, if you would like to join me in this, that would be great. I would say to everyone first, that everybody is different. You really need to talk to your doctor about realistic weight loss, diet, and exercise. What is right for me, is definitely not right for everyone else. There is a great website called Livestrong.com. It has something on it called Daily Plate. I suggest everyone check it out. It is a great tool and it is FREE! I thought I would list some things that I think help when on the quest to get in shape.

• Pork tenderloin cooked in a crockpot is very low in calories and high in protein and yummy too.
  
• Protein shakes with water fill you up and help build and repair muscle
  
• Smoothies made with nonfat no sugar yogurt and a bag of frozen berries is very filling and very good for you! A great substitute for a milkshake or bowl of ice cream.
  
• Eggs are a great source of protein and actually if cooked with a non-stick spray, they are low in calories too.

• Great music that makes you want to move will help you move faster and stay motivated while exercising.

• Eat at home, but measure the portions you are eating. It is really easy to eat more than you thought you were when you're at home.

• Have a goal date. Not one that is in two weeks, but one that gives you ample time and is something associated with fun. A date night or weekend away are good simple examples.

• Food diary. Write everything you eat down or put it into the computer on a site like Daily Plate or Calorie Count.

• Grilled fish and seafood are tasty and low calorie too with lots of protein.

• Realize that no food is bad or off-limits. You can eat that piece of cake or chocolate or pizza. You just have to eat less of something else. Say you have 1600 calories and you really want a milkshake from Sonic (they can be 1200 calories a serving), you may think of only drinking half or drinking it all and knowing that you will have to cover the rest of the day with the 400 calories you have left.

• Plan ahead as much as possible.

Do you have any tips? I'd love to hear them. Again, I am no doctor and you should consult yours before starting any fitness or diet plan. What works for one person may or may not work for someone else. My dinner for tonight is pork tenderloin, veggies, and rice. Also, I will be doing Spin class and the elliptical or treadmill for a total workout time of between 75 to 90 minutes tonight. What are your plans?

Spring Cleaning and Organizing

Last year at this time my family was trying to sell our house and move out of state for my husband's job. We had put most of our things in storage. The girls each had a doll and some odds and ends, but most everything else went into storage. As of July, we took our house off the market and decided to stay put. I put off moving back in all the way. Well, that $124 a month that we pay to keep our stuff out of sight and out of mind just doesn't seem like a good idea anymore. I have made it my goal for the month to bring it all back home (sigh and sob). I will be having a yard sale to get rid of what we just don't want to keep or stuff that no longer has a home. I honestly have anxiety over this thought; but what am I to do? Does anyone out there have some awesome spring cleaning and organizing tricks they want to share? The thing is, I don't have a lot of money to get a bunch of storage stuff, but I want to get this house and garage completely cleaned and organized by the end of May. I'll let you know how it goes.

Sisters

I hope that when my girls are all grown up they will be as close and loving (maybe even more so) as they are now. Sure, they fight and argue and get on each others' nerves, but let someone mess with one and you have to face the wrath of this small all girl army! My youngest, EC, is tiny. She just got on the growth chart. She, however, does not know this. She thinks she's huge. Just the other day, a 4 year old friend was being mean to my 9 year old. EC, who is 3, walked up to the other little friend and took care of the situation like she was 12. She is even protective of me. If one of the other sisters is being ugly to me, she is quick to step in and try to handle it. The same is true for the others as well. They all know that they have at least three other people that will be on their side and stand up for them if a situation arises where they are needed. I love it! I hope as they grow that sisterly bond will grow too. I want them to be best of friends and best of allies forever and always!